The Way of Wisdom: Rightly Ordered Emotions (Christmastide)

Proverbs 1:7; 9:10; 28:1; 10:12; 19:11; 19:19; 29:22; 14:29-30; 15:1; 15:18; 16:32; 21:9; 24:28-29; 25:21-22; 27:4; 14:30; 24:19-20; 23:17-18; 16:7; 12:20; 15:15; 17:22; and 15:30

Introduction. In considering emotions in today’s world, people tend to think along a binary continuum. On one end of the continuum are those who think of emotions as something potentially troubling or positively negative. These sorts of people stuff their emotions. If emotions are the lights on your car’s dashboard, stuffing emotions is simply covering the lights with tape. Emotions are present, but they are unrecognized or ignored. On the other end of the continuum are those who believe that it is not only healthy to give expression to their emotions, they believe it is their right to vent them in whatever way they desire. 

The book of Proverbs has much to say about our emotional life, and it counsels us as to how we may bring those emotions under the authority of Christ’s Lordship, and it also instructs us as to how we may experience and express them in a life that is governed by the fear of the Lord. This morning we will be looking at 1. Emotion Rightly Ordered, 2. The Feeling of Boundaries, 3. The Emotion That’s Got You, and 4. The Birthright of the Wise.

Read Sermon Passages. Proverbs 1:7; 9:10; 28:1; 10:12; 19:11; 19:19; 29:22; 14:29-30; 15:1; 15:18; 16:32; 21:9; 24:28-29; 25:21-22; 27:4; 14:30; 24:19-20; 23:17-18; 16:7; 12:20; 15:15; 17:22; 15:30.

“The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge; 
fools despise wisdom and instruction.”

The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom, 
and the knowledge of the Holy One is insight.

The wicked flee when no one pursues, 
but the righteous are bold as a lion.

Hatred stirs up strife, 
but love covers all offenses

Good sense makes one slow to anger, 
and it is his glory to overlook an offense.

A man of great wrath will pay the penalty, 
for if you deliver him, you will only have to do it again.

A man of wrath stirs up strife, 
and one given to anger causes much transgression.

Whoever is slow to anger has great understanding, 
but he who has a hasty temper exalts folly. 
A tranquil heart gives life to the flesh, 
but envy makes the bones rot.

A soft answer turns away wrath, 
but a harsh word stirs up anger.

A hot-tempered man stirs up strife, 
but he who is slow to anger quiets contention.

Whoever is slow to anger is better than the mighty, 
and he who rules his spirit than he who takes a city.

It is better to live in a corner of the housetop 
than in a house shared with a quarrelsome wife.

Be not a witness against your neighbor without cause, 
and do not deceive with your lips. 
Do not say, “I will do to him as he has done to me; 
I will pay the man back for what he has done.”

If your enemy is hungry, give him bread to eat, 
and if he is thirsty, give him water to drink, 
for you will heap burning coals on his head, 
and the LORD will reward you.

Wrath is cruel, anger is overwhelming, 
but who can stand before jealousy?

A tranquil heart gives life to the flesh, 
but envy makes the bones rot.

Fret not yourself because of evildoers, 
and be not envious of the wicked, 
for the evil man has no future; 
the lamp of the wicked will be put out.

Let not your heart envy sinners, 
but continue in the fear of the LORD all the day. 
Surely there is a future, 
and your hope will not be cut off.

When a man’s ways please the LORD, 
he makes even his enemies to be at peace with him.

Deceit is in the heart of those who devise evil, 
but those who plan peace have joy.

All the days of the afflicted are evil,  
but the cheerful of heart has a continual feast.

A joyful heart is good medicine, 
but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.

The light of the eyes rejoices the heart, 
and good news refreshes the bones.”

As we begin, let’s look at 1. Emotion rightly ordered (Fear and Boldness). Over the course of our time studying the book of Proverbs, our anchoring verse has been Proverbs 1:7 “The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge; fools despise wisdom and instruction.” The “fear of the Lord” is the foundation upon which wisdom is built. It is, as an Old Testament scholar (Bruce Waltke) says, “moves at both rational and nonrational levels holding together both otherness and intimacy, both awe and love, both reverence and trust.” We would be right to use the word “holy” to describe an encounter with God. To be in the presence of the Lord is at the same time attractive and personally confronting. We are to “fear the Lord,” because it is our relationship and standing before the Lord that is to be our greatest care and concern. To fear anything before or alongside of the Lord is to be succumbing to a controlling influence that may become idolatry. 

There is an expansive ambivalence when one enters the presence of the Holy One of Israel. You’ll remember Isaiah’s response, where upon entering into the presence of the Lord we read in Isaiah 6 (Isaiah 6:1-8), “In the year that King Uzziah died I saw the Lord sitting upon a throne, high and lifted up; and the train of his robe filled the temple. Above him stood the seraphim. Each had six wings: with two he covered his face, and with two he covered his feet, and with two he flew. And one called to another and said: “Holy, holy, holy is the LORD of hosts; the whole earth is full of his glory!” And the foundations of the thresholds shook at the voice of him who called, and the house was filled with smoke. And I said: “Woe is me! For I am lost; for I am a man of unclean lips, and I dwell in the midst of a people of unclean lips; for my eyes have seen the King, the LORD of hosts!” Isaiah cries out, “Woe is me!” because as he beholds the Lord’s holiness, he is confronted with his own unholiness. It shakes him to the core. 

But then we read (vers 6-7), “Then one of the seraphim flew to me, having in his hand a burning coal that he had taken with tongs from the altar. And he touched my mouth and said: “Behold, this has touched your lips; your guilt is taken away, and your sin atoned for.” And here we see a picture of the Lord’s graciousness. The fiery coals of the altar of incense that King Uziah presumptuously attempted to offer in the Temple before the Lord (2 Chronicles 26:16-21) as a priest-king becomes the source from which the Lord atones for Isaiah’s sin. And there Isaiah’s lips are cleansed to prepare him to pray and declare the word of the Lord to the people of the Lord. In that moment terror and atonement, something happens to Isaiah. His fear is rightly ordered and becomes an engine. Where does it take Isaiah? (Isaiah 6:8) “And I heard the voice of the Lord saying, “Whom shall I send, and who will go for us?” Then I said, “Here I am! Send me.” Can you apprehend how bold this is? The wicked are afraid because they know they are guilty, but those reckoned righteous by their faith in and fear of the Lord are bold as a lion. That’s what happens to Isaiah.

Our emotional life needs to be brought into the presence of the Holy One of Israel. As we turn to the Lord to receive His cleansing of our sin and submit ourselves to the Lordship of King Jesus, we may both experience and express our emotions in a way that glorifies Him. In so doing, we move from fear into boldness. 

Let’s look at another emotional tension as we look at 2. The feeling of boundaries (Anger and Restraint). The feeling of boundaries is the feeling of anger. Anger is the feeling of transgression. If someone steps on your toes, takes your stuff, treats you or someone you love poorly, anger is usually the emotion you feel.

However, the issue with anger is whether or not the boundaries that you presume have been violated are in fact legitimate. I can be angry about things that are not my business. I can be jealously angry about something that I have no right to be jealous about. If I am a person who is given to controlling and if I am a demanding person who has to get my way, my anger is likely flowing out of deeper issues which may be sinful at their heart or reflect deeper character flaws. (Proverbs 19:19) “A man of great wrath will pay the penalty, for if you deliver him, you will only have to do it again.” (Proverbs 29:22) “A man of wrath stirs up strife, and one given to anger causes much transgression.’ (Proverbs 24:28-29) “Be not a witness against your neighbor without cause, and do not deceive with your lips. Do not say, “I will do to him as he has done to me; I will pay the man back for what he has done.” The more you give yourself to anger, the easier it becomes to believe that your anger is legitimate. This sets you up for a root of bitterness to grow in your heart. More anger begets more anger. 

Again, we tend to look at emotions as something we shouldn’t feel on the one hand or things we should be allowed to fully express. This is the binary duality of the flesh. I say to myself I can make myself right if I never succumb to it OR I am right so I can give myself fully to it. You are to give yourself fully to the Lord and only to the Lord. Only before him are things settled, sin covered, and wisdom given. 

The Apostle Paul in Ephesians 4:26 says, “Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger.” That is, anger is a thing that may be rightly experienced, and in some cases ought to be experienced. Yet this kind of anger is a measured anger. (Proverbs 19:11) “Good sense makes one slow to anger….” It is slow. (Proverbs 14:29-30) “Whoever is slow to anger has great understanding….” (Proverbs 15:18) “A hot-tempered man stirs up strife, but he who is slow to anger quiets contention.” The slow anger of which the Proverbs speaks is a reflection of the character of the Lord. When Moses stands before the Lord in Exodus 34, we read, (Exodus 34:6) “The LORD passed before him and proclaimed, “The LORD, the LORD, a God merciful and gracious, slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness….” “Slow to anger….” we neither deny anger nor do we give free reign to our anger. We don’t blow up, nor do we stuff down. We, in wisdom, grow up. Our anger is measured. It is not retributive, neither is it rash, harsh, or uncontrolled. Fits of rage is not a fruit of the Spirit. On the contrary, if we take Galatians 5:19-21 seriously, it is akin to witchcraft, orgies, and hatred. Fits of rage is behavior which emanates from the sinful nature, and “those who live like that will not inherit the kingdom of God.” 

Instead, we do as Paul says, “do not let the sun go down on our anger.” Now this doesn’t mean you’ve got the right to express your anger to anyone you need to before you go to bed so you can be righteous. That’s what I call “obedience dumping.” Obedience dumping on another person is neither obedient nor peacemaking. Rather, you need to deal with it. Before you go to bed, you need to confess it, examine yourself, allow the Holy Spirit to speak to you in it. You need to pray it. You need to hand it over to Jesus Christ who is the Lord of Righteousness who will judge between you and the other. Anger needs to be confessed before it becomes resentment and grows into bitterness. (James 1:20) “for man’s anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires.”

The Lord’s people are not to be known as justice-givers. How will the world know we are the Lord’s children? Apparently, because of the peace we make like our Heavenly Father. When someone transgresses against you by stepping on your foot, it is entirely appropriate to respond with, “Ouch!” or “Excuse me.” In other cases it is entirely appropriate to simply overlook it. (Proverbs 19:11) “Good sense makes one slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook an offense.” (Proverbs 15:1) “A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” (Proverbs 15:18) “A hot-tempered man stirs up strife, but he who is slow to anger quiets contention.” (Proverbs 24:29) “Do not say, “I will do to him as he has done to me; I will pay the man back for what he has done.” 

You have never lost nor will you ever lose if you hand these things over to the Lord. You are actually living in accord with what you professed when you gave your life and your debts to Jesus. If Jesus paid your debts and gave you his mercy, who are you to collect debts from others? You should be making use of the mercy he has shown you to pay down other’s debts. There is more than enough mercy for all of us. Instead, we should, (Proverbs 25:21-22) “If your enemy is hungry, give him bread to eat, and if he is thirsty, give him water to drink, for you will heap burning coals on his head, and the LORD will reward you.” And “heaping burning coals on his head” is not killing them with kindness. (You are not to kill anyone – even with kindness). The burning coals are those things which separate you from your berserker-enemy. It is the grace of frustrating their attempts to sin against you, and by so doing sparing them the guilt of what they might do.

One Proverb that gets a lot of chuckles is (Proverbs 21:9) “It is better to live in a corner of the housetop than in a house shared with a quarrelsome wife.” Now, wives you do with that what you need. I want to talk to the husbands. This Proverb for you is not some justification about whatever behavior you feel is appropriate or whatever indignation you’d like to comfort yourself with. For you, the Proverb is, It is better for you to remove yourself from the bickering argument by living outside on the roof, than it is for you to engage in such a way as to foment and continue an argument so as to win at any cost. 

Anger does not mean venting and restraint does not mean stuffing. The sons of God are peacemakers…not peace-fakers, nor are they peace-breakers. 

Let’s turn now to 3. The emotion that’s got you (Jealous Envy and Tranquillity). (Proverbs 27:4) “Wrath is cruel, anger is overwhelming, but who can stand before jealousy?” (Proverbs 14:30) “A tranquil heart gives life to the flesh, but envy makes the bones rot.” (Proverbs 24:19-20) “Fret not yourself because of evildoers, and be not envious of the wicked, for the evil man has no future; the lamp of the wicked will be put out.” (Proverbs 23:17-18) “Let not your heart envy sinners, but continue in the fear of the LORD all the day. Surely there is a future, and your hope will not be cut off.” (Proverbs 16:7) ‘When a man’s ways please the LORD, he makes even his enemies to be at peace with him.”

One important category contained in the first nine chapters of Proverbs is the subject of Desire. Desire, if not brought under the Lordship of Jesus Christ, may easily become the energy of many foolish pursuits and sins. Two overwhelming desires which become emotions we experience are both jealousy and envy. As with anger, there may be jealousy that is legitimate. Especially as it relates to those relationships which are covenant relationships. Covenant relationships are founded upon “steadfast love and faithfulness.” When those are violated, denied, or withheld, it begs a question. As those who are made in God’s image and particularly those who call on the name of the Lord, James tells us, (James 4:5) “Or do you think Scripture says without reason that the spirit he caused to live in us envies intensely?”

Illegitimate jealousy, however, is something different. This sort of jealousy can be a lust of persons. It is a possessiveness. This sort of jealousy seeks to own another person and under such a strength of desire they themselves are owned by what they would possess. For example, if you ever start talking to yourself in the first person about your “precious” [gollum], you are not in a good place. (Proverbs 27:4) “Wrath is cruel, anger is overwhelming, but who can stand before jealousy?”

In another way, envy becomes a life steeling emotion if you give yourself to it. (Proverbs 14:30) “...envy makes the bones rot.” And if you find yourself envying the wicked, you are on very dangerous ground. Psalm 73 is the place to go to see how that plays out. But here. (Proverbs 24:19-20) “Fret not yourself because of evildoers, and be not envious of the wicked, for the evil man has no future; the lamp of the wicked will be put out.” If you are envying the wicked, you have lost your hope, and you are not living by faith. You have forgotten the Judge of all humanity, and you are denying his justice, his resolve, his promise, his zeal, his holiness. Do not envy the wicked. You may not know what the next thing coming to you will be. But we may be confident about the last thing, and that is the one that matters. Because the Lord will make all things right, we can live today with a tranquil heart. The Lord has secured that ending for us, He has and will keep its terms. His steadfast love and faithfulness can never be taken away, because he will never let it go away. His mercies are new every morning. (Proverbs 14:30) “A tranquil heart gives life to the flesh, but envy makes the bones rot.”

Conclusion. And so we, enjoy, 4. The birthright of the wise (Cheerfulness and the Gospel). (Proverbs 12:20) “Deceit is in the heart of those who devise evil, but those who plan peace have joy.” (Proverbs 15:15) “All the days of the afflicted are evil,  but the cheerful of heart has a continual feast.” (Proverbs 17:22) “A joyful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.” (Proverbs 15:30) “The light of the eyes rejoices the heart, and good news refreshes the bones.” We are a people who rejoice. It is our birthright in the gospel. Paul in Philippians 4:1 tells us why. Why “rejoice in the Lord always”? Because “the Lord is near.” He is near in both time and in place. He is near in time because “the end of all things is near.” And He is near to us in place, especially as we remember at Christmas that God is with us. And what does that reality produce in us? What does Jesus’ coming and living and dying and rising and ascending and reigning do for us? Does it make us dread the future? Does it make us afraid? Are we jealous that we are being looked over? Are we angry that we won’t get our way? Paul tells us what the nearness of the Lord produces in us. He says next, “let your gentleness be known to all.” From where do we get this gentleness? From the Lord whose nearness is gentle. (Isaiah 40:11) “He tends his flock like a shepherd: He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart; he gently leads those that have young.”